BabySitting Goku
by Dark-T-K
Summary: ChiChi and the girls want a night of peace and leave the kids home alone. Only problem is, goku is still a kid. Who will ChiChi get to watch him?
1. Getting a babysitter for Goku

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Baby Sitting Goku

By: Dark_T-K

TK: "Hi everyone. Welcome to the first story of DBZ humor. I'm the host of the show and this is my Co-star Pan14."

Pan: "Hi everyone. Just to top the records, Trunks rocks!"

TK: "That's nice Pan. ANYWAY, our story starts off with our Hero Goku."

Pan: "TK, Goku is not the hero of this story. Trunks is and so is Pan!" 

TK: "Pan shut up and let me finish. G-d, let me tell them what happens." {rolls her eyes.}

Pan: "Fine. But don't start any rumors or lies TK. Remember the last time you did that. Poor Trunks got his butt set on fire from Veggie."

TK: {thinks back} "Oh yeah. That was quite funny. But anyway, the wives of all the Z warriors want to get out of the house. ChiChi hires a babysitter for Goku. Since Videl is going with ChiChi and the girls she drops Pan off with Goku. Bulma doesn't want Trunks to get into trouble so she makes him go to. Unknown to our heroes, Veggie-chan is the babysitter."

Pan: "TK I recent that! Trunks' doesn't get into trouble! He can't help it if he wants to have fun. I like it when he does prank calls. He's so cute and-"

TK: "PAN! Not now! I need to finish my summery. Look, if you want him so bad wait til the end of this chapter to go flirt with him!" {points to Trunks behind the camera."

Pan: "Ok. But afterwards Trunks is mine. Oh yeah I got a message from Goku." {winks her eye}

TK: "Oh! What did Go-chan have to say Pan?" {starts blushing and getting excited.}

Pan: "Well he said he wanted to talk to you. I forgot what about but anyway finish your summery. I need to go flirt with Trunks!" {waves at Trunks. Trunks sweat drops.}

TK: "Right. Anyway, Veggie comes over to the son home. He suddenly gets this urge to take over the earth again so since he's in charge the kids have to follow his orders. Goku does what he's told cause he's never been too bright."

Goku: "Hey! I recent that! Just because I have the education of a preschooler doesn't mean I'm stupid!" {calls from off set.}

Pan: "You tell her Goku-sa. Don't let your biggest fan tell you you're a dull-witted fool!" {TK and Goku sweat drop}

TK: "Hi Goku. Sorry bout that. So let's get back to my summery. Goku you can sit on my lap…I mean you can sit next to me." {Goku sits down and blushes.}

Pan: "Hey! If Goku gets to be on set then Trunks does too! Trunks get over here right now!" {calls out to trunks.}

Trunks: "Pan I'm the camera man! I can't just abandon my position and hop on stage." {sticks his head out from behind the camera.}

TK: "Trunks ignore Pan. Pan quit trying to get the camera man on stage and Goku if you don't keep your hands to yourself I swear you're going to miss them!" {slaps Goku's hand}

Goku: {rubs his hand} "Why can't I touch you? I want to see what you're hiding under that skirt!" {sneaks his hand under again only to have it slapped.}

TK: "Goku! I love you madly, but didn't Chichi ever tell you not to pull up a ladies skirt!" {slaps his hand again}

Goku: "No. She said not to do it in public." {TK slaps him behind the head.} "Hey! What I'd do?!"

TK: {sweat drops} "Goku we are on live television! That is in public!" {Goku looks over at the camera.}

Goku: "Oh, well then I'll stop. But after the show I can right?" 

TK: {blushes madly} "Yes but can we talk about this later?!" {Pan is laughing hysterically.}

Pan: "Goku you are a riot. Stop flirting with her before she turns into a light bulb!" {falls on the floor laughing harder.}

TK: "Thanks for the vote of confidence. Anyway, Veggie fails in his attempt to take over the world. Why you might ask because-" {slaps Goku's hand again!}

Goku: "Oww! I was only trying to get something off your skirt!"

TK: "Goku, touch me again and I lock you in a room with Barney!" {Goku's face drains of color and nods.}

Pan: {still rolling on the floor laughing her behind off. TK sweat drops.}

TK: "As I was saying, Veggie fails. I won't tell you why. Then it would ruin the point of the story. But I can tell you this…Goku that's it. Yamcha go fetch Barney! Goku needs a time out!" 

Goku: "Noooo! Not Barney!" {Goku is dragged to a room and thrown in. Screaming is heard then banging on the door.}

Pan: "Poor soul, do you think that was a little harsh TK?" {TK shakes her head}

TK: "For Goku, no. For a regular human being that would be cruel and unusual punishment. Anyway, Enjoy the story folks!" {banging and screaming noises heard from the room}

Summery: ChiChi and the girls go out and leave the kids alone. Goku still being a little kid is stuck getting a baby sitter. Trunks and Pan are forced to get baby sat with him. Unfortunately for them Vegeta is their baby sitter. Vegeta gets this urge to take over the earth again and so he tries it but fails.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Awww ChiChi come on! I don't need a baby sitter!" cried Goku. He followed her around trying to convince her. She turned around only having Goku run into her legs. "Next time warn me before you slam on the breaks Chi-chan." Goku said as he rubbed his face. ChiChi rolled her eyes and picked up the chibi saiyan.

"Goku I love you with all my heart, but you need a baby sitter for tonight. I can't allow you to be alone while you're like this!" She said pointing out Goku's size. Goku scowled.

"It's not my fault I was turned into a kid. And besides that, I am 57 years old ChiChi. I can look out for myself ya know. I am a super saiyan you know." He said as he pointed. ChiChi slapped his small hand away and picked up the phone.

"Goku as a matter of fact it is your fault. If you didn't interfere with Pilaf's plan once again then it wouldn't have happened. And besides that, policemen come over here all the time looking for Videl so if you don't have someone taller than you, over here than we'll get into trouble. Now shut up while I call Bulma." Goku gave her the puppy dog look. ChiChi once again rolled her eyes and shooed Goku away from the phone.

"Mushi Mushi!" A voice called out from the phone line. ChiChi looked around for any sign of Goku.

"Hey Bulma it's me! Did you find a baby sitter for Goku and Pan yet?" ChiChi heard a faint sigh in the background.

"Hey ChiChi. No I didn't. I was wondering, Trunks has been making trouble so can he come over to your house tonight?" ChiChi thought about it.

"Why not make Trunks the baby sitter? He's twenty-three now, I sure he can handle Goku." _He did manage to live with him for an entire year in space._ Bulma thought about it.

"There's no way Trunks will be baby sitting. He makes prank calls and throws water balloons at people who walk by. He wouldn't pay attention to Goku or Pan at all. The boy is a lazy boy." 

"I am not mom! I train once in awhile with dad or Goten. I do go on dates almost every night!" Trunks shouted from his room. Bulma rolled her eyes and covered the phone speaker,

"That's exactly what I mean." She puts the phone back up to her mouth. "Sorry ChiChi, Trunks needs a baby sitter." Just then an idea hit Bulma.

"Bulma can you find someone? All the baby sitters ran away after Goten. We can't get any one to baby sit for us anymore." Bulma began thinking again.

"I have a person in mind. But you have to keep an open mind about them. I'll bring them over with Trunks ok?"

"Ok, Bulma. I hope you choose some one who can deal with Goku. Goku is known for his energy." ChiChi sighed as she watched him stuff his face with food.

"ChiChi take a chill pill and relax. This person will be able to tolerate Goku. All you have to do is leave food Goku can get a hold of and he'll be fine."

"It's not that I don't trust Goku. Goku has this knack of playing games and hurting the babysitters." ChiChi said as she watched Goku now getting into a wrestling match with a pillow. "Hold on Bulma…" ChiChi pulled the phone away from her mouth and glared at Goku. "Goku how many times have I told you to leave my pillows again. If you're so desperate for a wrestling match go get your pillow and fight it!" 

Unfortunately for ChiChi, Bulma heard it all and began giggling. Bulma looked at Trunks who was drawing on pictures of Vegeta.

"Trunks you better hope that comes off or your father is going to have you hide!" Trunks yelped and began stashing the markers and pictures away.

"Sorry Bulma, Goku was fighting with another pillow. If he keeps this up all my good pillows will be ruined. This is the twentieth pillow this month and the fifth this week." Bulma and ChiChi sighed into the phone together.

"ChiChi this date will be for the good of us. Make sure you call Videl and see if she is coming." 

"Ok, Bulma. Be careful in who you pick to baby-sit." They both hung up as ChiChi turned to Goku. Hey gave her the biggest puppy dog eyes as he sucked on a chocolate Popsicle. ChiChi rolled her eyes and picked up the phone again.

"Hello, Son residence, Pan speaking." Pan said in an appropriate manner. ChiChi smiled inwardly.

"Hey Pan. This is grandma, can you put your mom on the line. I'd like to talk to her." ChiChi said sweetly. She heard Pan sigh.

"Hold on grams. MOM! CHICHI IS ON THE PHONE AND WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!" Pan screamed out. Gohan immediately ran to the phone. Gohan swiped the phone out of his daughter's hand.

"Give me that! Didn't your mother and I tell you not to yell like that? Sheesh! Hi mom!" Gohan chirped into the phone.

"Gohan! I asked for Videl! Where the heck did you come from?!" ChiChi screamed into the phone. Gohan sweat dropped.

"Sorry mom. I wanted to ask you something." Gohan said in a nervous tone. He heard his mom yelling at his dad for the twentieth time that week.

"What is it Gohan?! I need to talk to Videl and soon! Your father here is getting quite annoying. Goku I swear I'm going to hit you if you don't stop that! He acts more like a child then an adult." Gohan laughed lightly and sweat dropped larger.

"Well mom he is a fifty-seven year old trapped in a child's body. Or is that the other way around. Anyway, Goten invited me to go camping with him. He and I are meeting up in twenty minutes. I wanted to ask can Pan stay with you for a few nights, maybe a few days?" ChiChi was exasperated. 

"Gohan you gotta be kidding?! Do you know the trouble I'd have to go through to deal with Pan and GOKU!? A lot!" Gohan sweat dropped once again. 

"It will only be for awhile mom. After tonight Videl is going to visit her father for the weekend. I won't be around and you and dad are the only reliable ones I can trust with Panny." Pan whipped her head around the corner hearing the dumb nickname given to her. 

"DAD! How many times do I have to tell you?! Don't call me PANNY! I hate that! What if I tell everyone about your name! How would you like that Sticky gum drop!" Pan shouted out from her room. Gohan sweat dropped.

"Fine Gohan. Now go fetch Videl and let me talk to her, Sticky gum drop!" ChiChi and Goku burst out laughing while Gohan only could groan. Gohan grumbled as he put down the receiver and went to find his wife. 

"Videl! Videl! Videlly where the heck are you?!" Gohan shouted into his house. Videl popped her head out of the bathroom door.

"Gohan will you shut up! Can't a lady take a shower without her family calling her every five seconds. What is it Gohan?" Gohan walked up to his wife and kissed her. 

"Did you know you look hot when you're mad and wet." Gohan said seductively into Videl's ear. Videl growled and grabbed Gohan by the ear and yanked down. Gohan cried out in pain.

"Stop flirting Gohan and tell me what you want?" Videl spat. "I don't like being called out of my shower for no reason!" Gohan nodded his head.

"My mother is on the phone. Wants to talk to about the dinner date and shopping. Says she wants you ASAP!" Videl let go of Gohan's ear and walked over to her portable phone. She picked up and yelled out.

"Pan hang up the phone! Hi ChiChi how can I help you tonight?" Videl said sweetly into the phone.

"That's a change in personality." Gohan grumbled as he sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Videl rolled her eyes.

"Hey Videl! I was wondering if you are still coming out with me and the girls?" Videl sighed.

"Yeah I am. I need this break from Gohan and Pan." Videl sent Gohan a death glare. He turned back to the TV.

"Is he being a pain again?" Chichi asked. Videl made an a-huh noise. ChiChi and Videl both giggled while Gohan scowled.

"I'm not that bad! I have my moments but come on!" Gohan shouted out in defense. Pan walked by and hit her dad in the head.

"You moments seem to hit more often then you realized dad." She said as she walked by. Videl giggled again.

"So I'll see you at five?" Videl asked sweetly. ChiChi made an agreeing noise. "You know about Pan and all that?" Videl said flatly. 

"Don't I. Your husband dumped it on me before handing the phone over to you. I swear he doesn't think. You think we never taught him any manners."

"With Goku as his father, I don't think so!" Both women began laughing as Gohan groaned while Goku looked up from his meal. The women hung up while both husbands looked on.

"Videl I don't see why you have to embarrass me in front of my mother. She doesn't need to know that kind of stuff!" Gohan whinnied out. Videl rolled her eyes then sat down next to Gohan.

"You'll get over it. Now I'm leaving at four thirty and I'm taking Pan with me. By the time I come back you better have left for your camping trip or I will be very mad! Understand?" Videl sent an icy death glare at Gohan. Gohan gulped and nodded in fright. "Good. Now I gotta go get ready." Videl ran upstairs, Gohan sweat dropped the sighed.

"What I do to make her happy. Oh well. Goten should be here soon. I hope." With that Gohan returned to watching the TV.

ChiChi ran around preparing certain things and cleaning. Goku watched in interest from the couch.

"Ya know if you keep this up, you'll be too tired to go shopping with the girls." Goku said as he plastered his famous Son smile. ChiChi looked at him and sent a glare.

"I wouldn't talk. You still have some chores to do buddy. As I recall, you need to get the firewood"

"Done."

"Chop up the firewood."

"Done."

"Get a bath in the barrel!" Goku sweat dropped.

"You know I would, but problem is, I can't take a bath there." Goku said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Why not?!" ChiChi screamed out. Goku chuckled lightly.

"Well it takes two to do the barrel and I can't split myself into two people for a bath ChiChi." Goku said as he grinned sheepishly. ChiChi face faulted.

"I don't care! You will take a bath! In the barrel! By yourself! RIGHT NOW!" ChiChi screamed. 

"Yes ma'am!" Goku yelped as he ran out of the house to the barrel. ChiChi smirked as she watched her small husband dash out the door.

"He's so adorable. Just to think. He is as dumb as a brick yet he's the cutest man alive. True he is shorter than Krillin but that's because he's a kid. Not like he never acted like one to begin with." ChiChi shook her head and walked up the stairs to get ready.

Goku filled the tub with water then set the wood on fire. He wiped his forehead with the back of his arm then peeled off his little gi.

"Now I see why ChiChi didn't want to help me. This is hard stuff. It took my twenty minutes to light a match then it took me ten minutes to put out the fire. Stupid match, burnt my little finger." Goku whinnied as he kissed his pointer finger. Goku then hopped into the tub only to jump out and scream. "Ye ouch! That's hot!" Goku wailed as he ran around the front yard. ChiChi watched from her room. She sweat dropped as she watched her childish husband run around the yard, naked.

"I know I love his child antics, but this is ridiculous." ChiChi said as she continued to watch Goku run around the yard. Just then a black car pulled up. "Oh no. Videl and Pan are here. I hope Goku stops before-" Videl and Pan both scream. "Too late."

Goku froze as he saw his daughter-in-law and grand daughter standing there watching him. He turned red with embarrassment.

"Heh…heh…heh. Sorry ladies!" Goku said as he rubbed the back of his head. ChiChi came running out of the house and grabbed Goku by the waist. She tucked him under her arm.

"Sorry girls. Let me take care of Goku!" She said.

"ChiChi!" Goku begun. ChiChi slapped a hand over his mouth and dashed off to the barrel. Videl and Pan looked at each other and blinked.

"Here we go again." Videl sighed. Pan nodded.

"5…4…3…2…1…" Pan counted.

"Goku! How many times have I told you not to run around naked in the front yard!" 

"To be exact. Five thousand, two hundred and seventy…eight!" Goku chirped happily. Pan and Videl both face faulted. They got back up to listen more.

"If I've said it that many times… WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO DO IT?!" ChiChi screamed out.

"I wouldn't do it if I knew the right temperature to set the barrel. I burnt my butt trying to get in." Once again the girls face faulted.

"Well enough is enough. You get a bath right now mister!" 

"AHH! No ChiChi the water-" Goku screamed out. ChiChi grabbed Goku and threw him into the water. "AHHHHHHH! HOT!" Goku screamed as he launched himself from the barrel. Videl and Pan watched as a smoke trail into the sky. Looking up they saw a little naked Goku holding his behind screaming. He came down and hung in a tree.

"Goku get down here right now and take your bath!" ChiChi shouted out. Videl and Pan looked over to where Chichi stood. ChiChi stomped over to the base of Goku's tree and began to shake the tree hard. Goku wailed out!

"I'm not going in there! I burnt my butt twice today! I'm not stupid enough to burn it for the third time!" ChiChi shook the tree again making Goku fall out of the tree on to his butt.

"That's enough of that. If you sit there you'll get used to it!" ChiChi grabbed Goku and headed back for the barrel.

"Noooo!" Goku screamed in fear.

"Don't you dare! You try to run and you can forget about desert for a week buster!" ChiChi hissed. Goku froze in his spot. "Good boy." ChiChi dumped him into the water.

"I wonder why he puts up with this?" Pan asked her mother. Videl sighed and shook her head. 

"Because he's a complete moron."

"He's not that dumb. If he has the brains to fight-"

"Don't stand up for your grand father Pan." ChiChi then trotted back over to Videl and Pan.

"Sorry about that. You know Goku."

"Sure do. He's a moron. Can't even take a bath without help!"

"Got that straight." Videl said flatly.

"He can be at times. Usually he takes a bath in the bathtub. But tonight I needed it so he had to use the barrel. Don't worry about him though." They all turned to Goku who was looking down in the water.

"You were right ChiChi! It's not so bad after the first five minutes!"

"That's nice dear. Lets go inside shall we?" The girls nodded and ran inside.

"Does grandpa always act like this?"

"You should know Pan. You were with him for awhile hunting for the dragon balls." Videl said. 

"Oh yeah." 

"Well could you wait a few more minutes Videl while I go finish getting ready. Goku happened to begin his bath after I finished my shower and picking out my dress."

"Sure ChiChi, why don't I help you? It will make it faster."

"Ok. Let's go upstairs."

"Alright. Pan, watch your grandfather. Make sure he doesn't do something stupid." Videl said in concern.

"No problem mom. Grandpa is a piece of cake!"

"Just don't help him! He has to learn to do this on his own!" ChiChi called from the upstairs. Videl and Pan sweat dropped.

"Ok…" Pan dashed outside while Videl walked upstairs. 

"Pan could you scrub my back? I can't reach it." Goku asked as he handed her the scrub brush.

"Uhhh…sure…" Pan said in a little embarrassment. 

"Don't you help him! Goku do it your self! If you can't reach use your stupid tail!" ChiChi called from the window. Both Goku and Pan sweat drop.

"How does grandma do that?" Pan wondered.

"I dunno. However she does it, she does it well. She catches me doing everything! Even sneaking cookies from the cookie jar!" Goku wrapped his tail around the brush and began scrubbing. "Maybe she's a physic…" Goku spoke out. 

"Or maybe I know you better than you know your self!" ChiChi shouted from the bed room.

"How does she do that?!"

"Trunks you better be ready to go!" Bulma screamed from her room. Trunks ignored his mother and spread himself over the couch.

"Why do I have to get stuck going over to Son's house and having a babysitter. I'm twenty-three years old for pete's sake!"

"Because boy! You mother doesn't trust you in the house ALONE!" Vegeta spat as he walked into the room. 

(Why me? Why do I have to Vegeta's son?! Why can't he leave me alone!) Trunks moaned in his thoughts.

"Dad can't you ever buzz off and leave me alone?" Vegeta smacked Trunks over the head. "Ouch! Hey! What was that for!" Trunks yelped out.

"Don't speak to the powerful Saiyan no Ouji like that boy! Unless you'd like another round in the GC!" Vegeta spat. Trunks instantly shut up. 

"Ok Trunks. Get into the car!" Bulma called out. Trunks got up and walked out of the house to his mother's plane.

"Hi Trunks!" Pan called as he got out of the plane. Trunks waved his arms.

"No Pan! No!" Too late… Pan tackled him to the ground. "Oooo!" Trunk moaned. 

"Trunks! I missed you! You hardly call!" Pan cried out as she hugged the demi saiyan.

"Yeah…I know." Trunks sweat dropped. He pushed Pan off then stood up. He dusted himself off while Bulma hopped out of the plane and recapsized it.

"Hi Pan! Where's your mother and grandmother?"

"Upstairs in grandma's bedroom. They are getting grandma ready."

"Where is the little baka that lives here?" Trunks asked in a slight groan. Pan giggled.

"He's over there in the tub still! Ummm…" 

What's up Pan?" Bulma asked in concern.

"I dunno about this too much, but grandpa has been in the barrel for a while now." Pan looked over to the barrel.

"How long is a while now?" Trunks questioned.

"Hmmm…I'd say he's been in there for and an hour now." Both Trunks and Bulma face faulted.

"An hour! Why the heck for?!" Bulma shouted out. All three looked over to see Goku shivering. He looked over to them and waved then huddled his arms around his body again.

"Grandma didn't tell grandpa he could leave so he's staying put til she tells him to move." Pan stated simply. Trunks and Bulma groaned.

"The strongest fighter in the world has the brain g-d gave a pea." Trunks said icily. Pan sighed while Bulma held her face in her hands.

"Hi guys! Glad you could make it!" ChiChi said happily as she trotted out of the house in her dress. 

"Yeah…sure…no problem." Bulma said in a bit of nervousness. 

"What's wrong Bulma?" Videl asked from behind ChiChi. Bulma groaned as she pointed to the barrel.

"ChiChi you better get a blanket and a fire going. Goku is frozen inside the barrel!" ChiChi kept her grin.

"Oh he's just…AHHHH! GOKU!" ChiChi screamed as she ran over to the barrel. Goku sat there shivering.

"H-h-h-I C-c-chi…C-c-chi!" Goku exclaimed! 

"Goku-sa! Why are you still in there?!" ChiChi screamed. She picked up Goku and set him on the ground. He continued to shiver.

"Y-y-you d-d-d-didn't s-s-s-say I c-could leave." ChiChi face faulted.

"Videl get me a blanket!" Videl nodded and ran inside the house. "Goku, you cease to amaze me." ChiChi sighed. Videl ran back out with a large pink fluffy blanket. 

"Hear ya go ChiChi!" ChiChi took it and wrapped Goku up immediately.

"Thanks Videl. Trunks come here!" ChiChi spat. Trunks ran over to her side.

"Yes ChiChi?" What can I do for you?" He said in a little fear. ChiChi's scowled soften.

"Take Goku inside, put him by the fire, and leave him there ok?" Trunks nodded and ran inside with the bundled Goku. Trunks came back outside.

"All done Mrs. Son." Trunks panted.

"Good. Lets go inside and talk for a bit til the baby sitter gets here." The group all walked inside. They walked into the living room to see Goku up and moving again. 

"AHH! Hot!" Goku walked away from the fire. "Burr! Too cold!" He walked over to the fire. The group watched as Goku continued to walk back and forth from the fire to the couch.

"You think he would learn to sit on a chair close to the fire after awhile." Bulma said in a whisper.

"That's Goku for ya." ChiChi and she blushed.

"Hi guys! I was just warming up…the living room!" Goku chirped happily. The group face faulted.

"If you call that warming up the living room then I supposed you jump on a bed to soften it right?" Trunks asked sarcastically.

"Yup" Once again everyone face faulted.

"I thought so." Trunks said as he lay on the floor.

**Knock! Knock!**

"That must be the baby sitter!" ChiChi said happily.

"I'll get it ChiChi! Don't want ya to get up for nothing." Goku squealed as he ran to the door and opened it. The entire groups gasped.

"VEGETA!" The group shouted out. Lightning flashed behind Vegeta as he let out an evil laugh!

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!-Cough! Cough!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TK: {talking to Goku} We'll do that after the show…Hi everyone!"

Pan: "Took ya long enough!" 

TK: {sends death glare} "Well that was the end of Chapter one. I though for sure Goku was going to run around more!" 

Goku: "I did. ChiChi just didn't notice. I kinda did some other stuff but oh well!" 

Pan: "Goku sometimes I wonder what goes on in your head."

TK: "Not much. I know for sure that the pebble in his head, takes a lot of work to make him come up with one good idea." 

Goku: "Hey! I come up with them more often than you know! And I thought you liked me!" {sniffles and has tears in his eyes.}

TK: "Son you have stolen my heart! Now what can I do to make you feel better?"

Pan: {walks off set to flirt with Trunks}

Goku: {smirks evilly}

TK: "Oh no! NO! NO! **NO!**" ChiChi would kill me!"

Goku: "Please TK! ChiChi won't mind I promise!" {gives TK big sparkly eyes}

TK: {tries not to look at Son} "Ohhh…"

Goku: "Please!" {uses the puppy dog eyes}

TK: "Ack! Goku not the puppy dog eyes! You know I hate them!"

Goku: {continues to stare at TK}

TK: "Ok! You can come sit on my lap!"

Goku: "Yay!" {runs over to TK and hops into her lap} "I'm so happy! I must be the luckiest guy in the world!" 

TK: {blushing madly} "Right! Anyway…" {Goku's tail wraps around her waist.} "Goku!" {blushing worse than before}

Pan: "Now you've done it Son. Got to admit, I gotta get Trunks to do that!" {glances over to Trunks.}

TK: "Goku! You know you're not supposed to do that!"

Goku: "But TK I know you like me! Why can't I show some affection too?" {whines a little}

TK: "Everyone knows I love more than the universe its self! But you know very well, you can't do this! Especially here!"

{Door slams open and ChiChi enters}

ChiChi: "Goku you get off TK's lap right now! You're in big trouble now!" 

Goku: "No way! It's comfy up here and TK's my best buddy!" {Gives TK a big hug}

TK: "Son! Quit making ChiChi mad! She's your wife!" {glances at ChiChi and tries to get son off her}

Goku: "Technically we aren't married. But Bulma says it's against the law for ChiChi to be married to a child!" {hugs TK again}

ChiChi: "Bulma said that two years ago. You only changed into a kid to make if official. He got us divorced causes he's still a kid!"

TK: {sweat drops majorly.} "So I guess he can do this!"

Pan: {Rolling on the floor laughing} "Son has got a crush on TK as big as the size of Russia! And TK has got the crush the size of Jupiter for Goku only she can't have him cause his ex-wife still owns him!" {begins to cry while laughing.}

ChiChi: {glares at pan} "Hey Pan! Trunks says he's lonely over there and wants to make out right now!"

Pan: {stops laughing} "Really?! Oh boy!" {runs over to Trunks and tackles him!}

TK: {watches all of it and sweat drops.} "Listen ChiChi. I know you like Goku but he's legally free from you. He can be with who ever he wants to. Ack!" {gets squeezed harder by Goku}

ChiChi: "Fine! But he better not come crawling back to me when he's hungry!" {stomps out the door}

TK: {sweat drops} "I just chased ChiChi from her husband, defended Goku, and made him homeless. Oh boy!"

Goku: "Don't worry TK! I'll grab my stuff and come live with you!" {hugs TK harder}

TK: {turning blue} "Pan Help!"

Pan: {looks over after kissing Trunks for the twentieth time} "Yipe! Goku stop before you squeeze the life out of TK!"

Goku: "Oops! Sorry TK" {lets go of TK and hops off her lap.}

TK: {gasping for breath "It's ok Goku. Just be careful with your strength next time."

Goku: "OK TK!" {turns back to big Goku.}

Pan: "I wish you two had a relationship like me and Trunks! We have so much fun in a-"

Trunks: "Pan! Don't you dare say a word!" {slaps his hand over her mouth}

Goku: "I don't see what's wrong with-"

TK: {kisses Goku to silence him} "Don't talk about that! Now we have some things to discuss!"

Pan: "Wow TK! You just kissed Goku for the first time! How did it feel? What's he taste like?" {Trunks slaps his hand over her mouth again}

Trunks: "That's none of your business what TK and Goku do!"

Goku: "Personally I liked it!" {blushes slightly}

TK: "It felt good. Something I've only dreamt of doing! Something I shouldn't have told you just now!" {covers her mouth and blushes}

Pan: "TK we all know you like Goku. You haven't kept it a secret." 

TK: "Yeah I know! But I don't-" {gets cut off by Goku pulling her into another kiss}

Trunks: "You two! Cut that out! That's not what you should do on set! Bad for the ratings!"

Piccolo: "Actually it's raised the ratings higher than usual! Keep kissing her Goku!" {calls from off set}

Pan: "Well that's just not right. She gets to kiss Goku and I gotta wait til after the show!"

TK: {pulls away from Goku} "Not like I had a choice! He pulled me into it!" {notices Goku's tail wrapping around her waist again and pulls her close}

Goku: "I like it! You know you're-"

TK: {covers Goku's mouth} "Save it for tonight Goku."

Pan: {smirks evilly} "And what do you plan on doing tonight eh TK?"

TK: {blushes madly again} "If you're thinking about that certain thing you better stop! Goku and I are sleeping in different beds! He is only allowed to kiss me not-" {cuts off my Goku kissing her neck}

Trunks: {Grabs Goku and pulls him off the TK} "I think it's time you leave Goku! TK he'll be waiting for you outside! See ya tonight Pan" {winks at Pan then escorts Goku off the set.}

Pan: "OOOO! He winked at me! I'm in heaven!" {blushes heavily}

TK: "Thanks to Trunks I can talk with out Goku trying to get me to kiss me again." 

Pan: "I thought you dreamed of him doing that to you?"

TK: "I did and still do, but here? Now?! After his ex-wife barged in here! Can't he wait to flirt til later?!"

Gohan: "He can't help it! He normally does this to mom all the time and she reacts right away!" {calls from off set}

TK: {blushes madly} 

Pan: "So it's a habit you have to break. Big deal! I know you were enjoying the attention." {begins drinking a root beer and passes TK a Dr. Pepper}

TK: "I do. But you know me. I don't like giving attention to boys in public! I'm a personal kind of girl ya know." {opens her soda and drinks.}

Pan: "Yeah I know. But you better learn to do stuff like that in public. If you don't you have to kiss him in bathrooms a lot." {takes a sip of her soda.}

TK: "Darn! You're right!" {sees the door open} "Oh boy!"

Goku: "TK loves me!" {tackles TK out of her chair}

Pan: {Sweat drops} Oh boy. This will be hard to explain."

TK: "Goku! Don't touch there! Not on the set!" {screams from off the stage!}

Pan: {sweat drops again} "Sometimes I wish Trunks was that persistent. Oh well. Thanks for coming to the first chapter folks. Hopefully Goku and TK will work things out by the next chapter."

TK: "GOKU! NOT HERE!"

Goku: "Stop kicking me there TK! Do you know how hard it is to kiss you when you keep nailing me in the gut!"

TK: "I told you not here!" {kicks Goku in the No No Area!}

Goku: {freezes on the spot}

Pan: "Oooo! That's gotta hurt! He'll feel that for awhile!"

Trunks: "He deserved it. He doesn't listen to when she says no. Least she got her point through." {Pan nods in agreement.}

TK: {comes onto the set with messed up hair and clothing} "Pan will you end this chapter today. I gotta take Mr. Pain in the nuts home!" {walks off and grabs Goku and drags him out of the set.}

Pan: "Boy she's mad. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed the story, even if Goku managed to steal the host! We'll be back late with part two of Baby Sitting Goku!"

Trunks: "See ya later folks." 


	2. VEGETA! Dinner is acomminGoku leaves his...

****

Baby Sitting Goku

By: Dark_T-K 

TK: "Welcome back to DBZ Humor! As you all know, I am the fabulous host, TK!" {smiles brightly}

Pan: "And I'm her co-host Pan14." {waves her arms around}

TK: "Sorry about last time folks. Goku is now sedated and sleeping peacefully in my room! He was a little over energized from the story." {sweat drops}

Pan: "I thought he was really happy about you TK."

TK: "That too. Today he is going to sleep. Luckily we still are going to have a few surprised guests. Unfortunately little Goten couldn't come but we did get some substitutes."

Pan: "Ha! That nut isn't a sub! He's a loose cannon!"

TK: {glares at pan} "I know. But just to make sure, we got Trunks to be here to so stop complaining. Anyway, besides MARAI Trunks being our guest. The studio asked Vegeta to be our delighted guest. Though he's more of a worry about guy than a guest."

Vegeta: "I heard that!" {stomps onto the set and glares}

Trunks: "Dad don't start waves! Pan happens to my girl friend while TK is Son's new buddy!" {runs on the set}

Vegeta: "What?! Kakarott is mated to this insulting little onna?!" 

TK: "Watch who you're calling short Vegeta! You're not exactly the Jolly Green Giant yourself." 

Pan: "He's not tall period!" {points to Vegeta and laughs}

Vegeta: {growls angrily} "Don't laugh at the Great Saiyan no Ouji!" 

Trunks: {grabs Vegeta and holds him back} "Dad please!"

TK: "Veggie chill! And aren't you the Saiyan no Ou since the king is dead?"

Vegeta: {Rolls his eyes} "Metaphorically speaking yes. But since prince sounds better than king I like Ouji. And don't call me Veggie!" {crosses his arms}

Pan: "Veggie stop throwing a fit. Why don't you sit and tell us about yourself." {pats a seat next to TK and her}

Vegeta: "Fine! But don't you-"

TK: "Vegeta believe me. We have better men to lay our hands on then you." {points to the seat and glares.}

Vegeta: {takes the seat and sweat drops}

Pan: {notices Trunks trying to leave} "Don't you try it buster! Get over here Trunks and sit by me!" {glares at the retreating Trunks}

Trunks: "Heh…sorry" {zips over to the chair next to Pan}

Pan: "That's a good boy. Now on to interviewing Veggie!"

Vegeta: "Don't call me that! I hate that silly kaka-pet name. Makes me sound stupid. When I'm supposed to sound evil." 

TK: "Vegeta will you stop already. Anyway Vegeta, we all know you're the Great Saiyan no Ouji. How does it feel to rule over one saiyan?" {takes out a pad and pencil and begins to take notes}

Vegeta: "As it is I do enjoy having one last peasant around. Though sometimes I wish I had Nappa or at least Turles." 

TK: "Turles eh? Well he was smarter than his twin I'll give you credit for that." 

{door slams open to reveal an angry Goku}

Goku: "I heard that Veggie!" {stomps on to the set and stands in front of Vegeta.}

TK: "Here we go again." {puts her face into her hands}

Pan: "Don't they ever give it a rest?" {sighs and sweat drops}

Trunks: "Just imagine living with one of them. It gets worse." {rubs Pan's back.}

{Son and Veggie begin arguing over pointless things}

Pan: "I can't believe you actually like him. Son is fighting over coleslaw and potatoes!" 

TK: "Well Vegeta is arguing over baked beans and French fries. I don't see the difference." {rubs her temples}

Trunks: "I think they are arguing over what they had last night for dinner."

Pan: "They actually remember what they ate last night. That's surprising since Son over there can't remember where he puts his own boots."

TK: "Surprisingly Goku does remember some things. Then forgets the rest. Guess it's part of the package."

Pan: "What package?! The only thing those two have is muscles! Both of them have IQs of a low room temperature!"

Trunks/TK: {snickering}

TK: "You got a point, but Goku has a lower IQ. His only reaches to his knee and higher if he's lucky."

Trunks: "That's only part true. Son can be smart-"

Pan: "But only when he's fighting. Then he has to use that peanut sized brain or he would be killed."

TK: "Hey! Peanut size is good. Goku wouldn't be a lovable lug if he didn't have a peanut sized brain. Anyway, we need to break those two up." {stands up and heads towards the two saiyans} "Coming Marai?"

Trunks: "Uhhh…yeah…" {jogs over to TK and walks over to the bickering saiyans}

{Trunks grabs Vegeta while TK grabs Goku}

Vegeta: "Let go of me boy! I'm about to beat the tar out of Bakarott there!"

Goku: "TK I'm gonna beat up Veggie! Let me go please!" {both saiyans squirm around to get free}

Trunks: "Sorry dad, but you two gotta cool it." {holds on to Vegeta}

TK: "Forget it Goku! As much as I enjoy you beating up Veggie over there give him a rest! You two sparred yesterday! Now go sit down!"

Goku: {sighs, defeated} "Yes TK." {TK lets go and he goes to sit in her chair} 

Vegeta: "Ha Ha stupid Kakarott! You move out of the hellcat's house to move in to another! How pathetic!" 

TK: {growls slightly and smacks Vegeta} "Will you shut up! Quit causing problems and go sit down!" {walks back over to her seat} 

Vegeta: "Fine!" {grumbles and returns to his seat}

TK: {walks to her seat and notices Goku is in it} "Ok out Goku! That is my seat!"

Goku: "Not anymore! Your seat is now here!" {pats his lap}

Trunks/Pan/Vegeta: {glaring at Goku} "Stop trying to get her to make out!"

Goku: "I'm not! I just like it when she sits on me!"

Pan: "Now that's a straight lie."

Trunks: "Tell me about it."

Vegeta: "All Kakarott does is try to-"

Trunks: {slaps a hand over his fathers mouth} "Not here dad! Anyway, Goku get up and we'll get you another seat."

Goku: "No way! I like it here." {Goku frowns and crosses his arms}

TK: {growls angrily} "Goku!" {whispers something into his ear}

Goku: "AHHHH! No! I'll get up! I'll get up!" {jumps up and grabs another seat.}

Pan: "What did you tell him?"

Trunks: "Yeah! How did you manage to get Goku up?"  
Vegeta: "It wasn't hard. She threatened to give him a needle if he didn't move in the next five seconds." {rolls eyes}

TK: "Well you're close Vegeta. But I did tell him something far worse than needles." {smiles proudly.}

Pan: "Come on now, tell us."

TK: "Sorry but you'll just have to wait. On to our story."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Vegeta!" The group gasped!

"Yes it is I, The Great and Powerful, Saiyan no Ouji Vegeta." Vegeta smirked as he entered the house.

"This is who you got to baby sit for us?! The world's biggest moron and egotistical freak!" ChiChi shouted out. Bulma nodded.

"He was the only one who said he was available. He was the only one I could find who didn't say 'Goku! You gotta be kidding!' Plus he's real cheep." ChiChi face faulted.

"I take it you couldn't find a normal person to baby sit then?" Videl asked. Bulma turned to Videl.

"You couldn't pay anyone enough money to baby sit these two!" Bulma shouted as she pointed to Goku and Trunks. "These two are the reasons very few baby sitters advertise."

"That's a shock. And I thought it was Goku's natural ability to scare people with his super human strength." Pan said flatly. Goku and Trunks face faulted.

"Hey now! I may have super human strength, but I'm still a nice guy! I play with dolls with little Bra and I fight pillows so I can't be all that bad!" Goku stated defensively. The group all face faulted.

"Goku, she meant you scare people by lifting up the couch looking for stuff." Trunks snapped. 

"Now how did you know that Trunks?" ChiChi questioned the demi saiyan.

"Easy. I had to baby sit him before. I had my girl friend over to help me watch the little midget. Goku was playing with his toy truck when he rolled it under the couch. He then lifted the couch to retrieve the toy, thus scaring off my date." Trunks said as he glared over at Goku. Goku looked up at Trunks. 

"Is that how it got under the couch. Wow. And all that time I thought you threw it under there so I couldn't find it." Trunks sweat dropped.

"Anyway! We don't have time to debate who gets to baby sit. Vegeta! The phone numbers to Videl, Bulma, 18, or my cell phone are by the phone. There's a list of places to call for food. Just tell them to put it on the Son tab. And make sure Goku is in bed at eight. He tend to over energize if he stays up too late." ChiChi said quickly. Vegeta nodded. 

"Trunks you make sure to keep your paws off the phone. Vegeta has my permission to hit you if you do." Bulma stated.

"Pan try to put up with the guys." Videl said annoyed. 

"Don't worry about me mom. I'll not only stay out of trouble, I'll keep Trunks out of trouble too." Pan chirped happily. Trunks sweat dropped nervously.

"Well we'll see you guys later. Try not to destroy anything this time." ChiChi said flatly. 

"Vegeta don't instigate fights with Goku. G-d only knows we need a golden monkey running around." Bulma said as she looked at Vegeta.

"It's not a golden monkey Bul-chan, it's a-" He was cut off.

"It's just me!" Goku shouted out happily. "I'm a giant golden ape. Aren't I cute!" smiled as he held up a picture of his golden Oozaru form. Vegeta snatched the picture out of his hand. "Hey! That's mine Veggie!" The girls snuck out as another saiyan squabble broke out. 

"How the heck did you get a picture of yourself in Golden Oozaru Kakarott?" Vegeta asked and he stared dumbfounded at the picture. Goku just smiled happily and snatched the picture back.

"All I did was ask Goten if he would take a picture of me. He did, only at the wrong time. So instead of getting a good picture of me in SSJ mode, Goten took me as Golden Oozaru. Cool huh?" Goku chirped happily as he dashed away. Vegeta, Trunks, and Pan all rolled his eyes.

"Some times I really wonder if I'm related to him." Pan said shaking her head.

"I feel sorry for dad." Trunks said as he smirked at Vegeta.

"Why do you feel sorry for him? He doesn't come from his genes." Pan stated. Trunks smirk grew larger.

"Cause Goku is his peasant. He has to deal with him every time." Trunks and Pan snickered while Vegeta glared.

"At least I don't have a crush on a child brat!" Vegeta snapped at Trunks. Trunks blushed.

"Dad! I told you not to say that around Pan!" Trunks whined. Pan smiled happily and wrapped her arms around Trunks waist.

"I though you were blushing when I hugged you!" Pan said. "So it's true! You do like me!" Pan squealed. Goku then raced in!

"Did I hear someone say spaghetti?!" Goku squealed happily. The group then face faulted.

"Goku some times! Jeez, for once think with your head and not your stomach." Trunks said as he shook his head. Goku looked around confused. 

"Kakarott for once stop acting like a baka and try to understand!" Vegeta snapped. Goku turned to Vegeta and just grinned.

"When you my size and have the brain capacity of a pea, you'd think this was the best way for me to act!" Goku chirped happily. 

"Do you think we should tell him he's insulting himself?" Pan whispered to Trunks. Trunks shook his head.

"And spoil all the fun? Nah! He doesn't know!" Trunks snickered into Pan's ear. Both Pan and Trunks giggled lightly.

"Kakarott…it amazes me that you are a saiyan." Vegeta said as he sighed in defeat. Then an idea popped into Vegeta's head.

"It surprises me the grandpa has actually made it through fifty years by himself." Pan giggled.

"Hey! I'm fifty seven!" Goku exclaimed!"

"We know. You only took care of yourself for fifty. As I recall, Gohan took care of you for the rest. Heard you were also a scamp back in those days. Trunks smirked. Pan chuckled. Goku blushed.

"Back before I hit my head I was slightly evil! Heh…But now I'm just extremely cheerful, and anger constipated!" Goku piped happily. Trunks just rolled his eyes. Vegeta evil smile grew wide.

"Hey Kakarott? Would you do anything for me?" Vegeta asked. Goku tilted his head. 'Some times I swear he's more of a dog then a saiyan.'

"If it's in my power Veggie. If its like… grant you immortality or make you grow a little taller than I can't do that." Goku said. "Why do ya ask Veggie?" Goku questioned. Vegeta's smirk grew darker.

"Oh no reason. Just wanted to take over this mud-ball and enslave all of humanity!" Vegeta shouted proudly. Goku just smiled.

"Well…since you're the baby sitter…I guess its ok. As long as I'm not destroying things, lifting up heavy things, or hurting people, then I guess its ok!" Trunks and Pan both face faulted. 

"Goku! Mom and grandma told us to behave! Taking over the world isn't behaving!" Pan snapped. Goku looked at her with his cute baby face.

"I know, but ChiChi said to listen to the baby sitter. So until ChiChi, Bulma, and Videl come back, I have to do as Veggie says or I'll get in trouble." Pan made a disbelief face.

"Goku do you always listen to ChiChi?" Trunks inquired. Goku nodded his head.

"If I don't it's either I sleep on the couch, outside, or I get hit really hard with the frying pan." Goku said rubbing the back of his head nervously. Trunks made a choked sound.

"Well then Kakarott…My first order for you tonight is…" Vegeta was cut off quickly by Goku.

"Set the table so we can eat!" Goku cried out as he dashed out of the room. Pan, Trunks, and Vegeta stared blankly at the door.

"Now you've done it. He won't do a thing til you feed him. Plus he's all wired up. We'll never get him to bed at this rate." Trunks sighed. Vegeta turned to Trunks.

"I thought he said he had to listen to me!" Vegeta shouted.

"He did. But we all know Goku. He puts food and others safety before anything else." Pan said as she watched her gleeful grandfather zip around the dining room and kitchen.

"I can tell…this will be a long night." Trunks said as he slumped on to the ground.

"Oh yeah." Pan agreed slumping next to him.

'This will be one of those night where my plan is perfect, yet some bakayaro like Kakarott, has to screw it up.' Vegeta thought to himself as Goku stopped his fast movements and halted before Vegeta.

"Table set! Now when's dinner?" Goku asked cheerfully. Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"Fine! We'll eat first then take over the world. Now what do you want to eat Bakarott?" Vegeta growled. Goku went into a trace.

"Uhhhhhh…" He said as he began thinking. Pan and Trunks both groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Nicely done Vegeta. It could be hours before he thinks of something." Pan snapped as she pulled out a magazine. 

"I agree dad. Never give Goku a choice of what to eat. He can never make up his mind when it comes to food." Trunks said pulling out a book.

"Not true. I won't eat seafood like squid, octopus…" Goku began naming things he didn't like to eat. Vegeta sat down next to the demi-saiyans.

"Should we order a few dozen pizzas and hope he'll eat them?" Vegeta asked Trunks and Pan.

"Might as well." Pan said as she looked over to her grandfather.

"I don't like Brussels spouts, spinach…" Goku continued naming off foods he wouldn't touch.

"On second thought, definitely. Just no anchovies, pineapples, or mixed vegetables pizzas." Pan said. "Goku and I like cheese and pepperoni."

"I like the same as well as sausage. " Trunks said looking up from his book. 

"Fine it's settled. We'll order pizza and hopefully get the brat settled before he gives me a headache." Vegeta snarled.

"Too late for us." Said Pan as she held her head.

"Yeah. We already got one." Groaned Trunks as he got up and headed for the bathroom. Vegeta snorted and turned over to Goku.

"Settle down Kakarott, before you hurt yourself." Vegeta snapped at the mini saiyan running around the dining table.

"Hopefully he will hurt himself and we can ditch him at the hospital." Pan grumbled. Vegeta gave Pan a proud smirk.

"Yes that would be sufficient, but then we'd get into trouble with the onnas. I'd like to keep my G.R. if you don't mind. So we'll just have to put up with Bakarott's stupidity until onna comes and frees us." Vegeta grumbled miserably.

"Dinner time! Wahoo it's dinner time! I'm gonna get a real treat cause it's DINNER TIME!!!" Goku shouted and screamed merrily. Vegeta and Pan both covered their ears.

"Can't you make him shut up?!" Vegeta screamed out. Pan shook her head and screamed back.

"No! He's a moron! What did you expect?!" Pan screamed at the top of her lungs.

"A quiet moron!" Vegeta screamed back. 

"Well that won't happen!" Trunks shouted out. Goku stopped running around and thought for a moment.

"I was just thinking…" Goku began.

"That's a new concept, now try thinking and speaking at the same time." Vegeta snapped. Goku frowned.

"I was just trying to be nice…" Tears welled up in Goku's eyes. Trunks and Pan roll their eyes in annoyance.

"Here we go again." Pan whispered to Trunks.

"He always cries and works on sympathy." Both teens watched. Vegeta had his arms crossed while Goku then wailed out.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Goku cried out. Vegeta jumped than began to panic.

"Kakarott don't cry you baka! I won't get paid if you cry!" But Goku continued to wail about kicking and screaming.

"Uhhh…Dad you better shut him up, the neighbors are forming an angry mob." Trunks said looking out the window. Vegeta sweat dropped. 

"What do I got to do to shut him up?!" Vegeta said. Pan snickered.

"You gotta give him a hug!" Vegeta's face turned green.

"You've got to be joking?! Are you serious? Me? Hug that?" Vegeta pointed to the mini crying saiyan. "Don't you think I have more pride than that?!"

"You won't need pride when those neighbors get here with pitchforks and lit torches." Trunks said.

"Just pick him up, hold him to your chest, and squeeze gently. Goku will stop crying and fall asleep." Pan said rolling her eyes in a monotone voice.

"How do you know he'll fall asleep?" Vegeta said questionably. 

"Just do it dad. Pan knows what she's doing. She's helped me loads of times with Goku." Trunks snapped.

"Oh fine! If it will get him to shut up! I'm getting a migraine." Vegeta growled. Vegeta walked over to the miniaturized saiyan, picked him up and held him. Goku stopped wailing. Vegeta then began to hug Goku gently and rock just a little bit. Goku's eyelids dropped and soon Goku was out like a light.

"Whew. That was close. The neighbors are leaving." Trunks said checking the window again. Pan smiled happily.

"Here take this!" Vegeta snapped at Pan. Pan took her grandfather's sleeping form while Vegeta headed up the stairs.

"Where are you going dad?" Trunks asked.

"To get a shower and aspirin. That stupid baka not only drooled on me, BUT LEFT HIS MARK!!!" Vegeta howled angrily. Pan and Trunks burst out laughing.

"And to think, we were worried about the mob." Trunks said.

"Well let's put grandpa to bed before Vegeta gets done." Both demi saiyans took Goku into his room, put him into his crib, then locked the crib.

"We better turn on the safety measures. We don't want anything to happen." Pan said.

"Right." Trunks turned on the anti-saiyan breaking out security system and checked on Goku. Goku was sound asleep with his thumb in his mouth.

"Even though he's a really big hassle, he's really cute when he's sleeping." Pan said. Trunks nodded.

"Now let's get out of here before he wakes up."

"Gotcha!" Both teens raced out of the room and down stairs. The flopped on the couch. 

"Well that takes care of Goku." Trunks said tiredly. Pan nodded. 

"Nothing can happen-" The phone rang. Trunks answered it. A minute later he dropped the receiver. 

"Uh oh…" Trunks said.

"Whose is it?" Pan asked nervously.

"That was Goku…He's escaped and is going to into Satan City." Pan paled. "Oh boy, Vegeta is going to kill us…"

"You got that right!" Vegeta snapped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pan: "Welcome back everyone. Hope you enjoyed the story!"

TK/Trunks: {groaning}

Pan: "What's wrong with you two?" {cocks her head to the side}

TK: "During the middle of the story, two certain saiyans got into another fight."

Trunks: "Now they are fighting over historical events that happened along time ago." {both him and TK sigh}

Pan: "Why don't you two break them up?"

TK/Trunks: {sweat dropped} "WE DID!"

{Gohan walks on stage with Vegeta and Goku unconscious.}

TK: "How long did it take this time Gohan?"

Gohan: "Two hours before they were knocked out. Boy I'm glad they're out, they caused so much trouble!"

Trunks: "What expensive thing did they break now?"

Gohan: "You don't want to know…"

Pan: "If it's TK's mustang out side she's gonna kill Goku…"

Gohan: {sweat drops and laughs nervously} "I dunno…"

TK: "Trunks hold me back…"

Trunks: "Maybe it's just best if we get those two out of here and I'll even help pack up Goku's things!" Trunks said as he slipped off stage.

Gohan: "I think I'll come help. Dad always packs some unusual things…" {dashes off the stage}

TK: {sighs} "That's the third car this year!" {covers head and sobs} "It was my favorite too!"

Pan: {rubs TK's back} "Don't worry. Those two will pay for it. Anyway, I talked to your b/f a moment ago."

TK: {Perks up} "Really! What did ultra have to say?"

Pan: "Said he was going to rip Goku's hands off if he didn't stop touching you…"

TK: {sweat drops} "That sounds like him. So protective, yet so gentle." {smiles happily}

Pan: "Heh…yeah…Anyway, he's on his way here cause he has a score to settle." {puts on a war helmet}

TK: "Better get ready. You mind closing this chapter." {loud knocking} "Oh boy!"

Pan: {jumps} "Yeah! You just go take of Gohan before he rips something or someone into pieces!"  
TK: "I think I will! Thanks Pan!" {dashes to the door}

Pan: "Sorry folks for the slight problem. Once Goku is back with ChiChi and TK calms down her b/f then we should be good to go." {Trunks returns}

Trunks: {slumps into his chair and sighs}

Pan: "How'd it go?"

Trunks: "The packing and moving went great. When we put Goku back into his rightful spot…well…"

Goku: "AHHHH! NOOOO! Not the frying pan!"

Pan/Trunks: {sweat drop}

Pan: "I see what you mean."

Trunks: "Where's TK?" {looks around}

Pan: "You should be more worried about where I am then TK." {crosses her arms}

Trunks: "You know what I mean…"

Pan: "Her b/f showed up. He caught a glimpse of Goku touching his girl and now.."

ultra_gohan: "He did what?!" {screams from off stage}

Trunks: "Oh boy… As if we don't get enough fights already…"

Pan: "We get a fight between lovers. G-d I hate to be them."

Trunks: "Yeah."

TK: {walks back on stage, ug's tail wrapped firmly around her waist} "I'm back."

Pan: "We could tell…"

Trunks: "Gohan what's with the tail?" {points to the stiff tail around TK's waist}

ultra_gohan: "It's to make sure I can keep an eye on TK. Goku is such a flirt."

Pan: Don't we know it…"

TK: "I thought I told you to close this chapter Pan!" {growls angrily}

Pan: "I though Gohan here might like to do the honors. It will be his first considering he's more or less attached to you." {snickers}

TK: {scowls}

Trunks: "Pan stop instigating fights before TK starts one with you!"

ultra_gohan: "I think I will end the chapter. See ya later folks."


	3. The Bad Kidnapping Ow that's gotta hurt...

****

Baby Sitting Goku

By: Dark_T-K

TK: "Hi everyone! Welcome back to DBZ Humor and Part 3 of Baby Sitting Goku! As you know, I am the host, TK!" {Audience cheers, whistles, and cat calls}

ultra_gohan: "The cat calls were not needed."

Pan: "I'm Pan the co-host and Gohan over there is the male host." {Glares at Gohan}

Trunks: "Pan don't start! We don't need another pair of fighting saiyans on this show." 

TK: "Same goes for you Gohan. Just because you're my b/f doesn't give you the right to fight with my friends." {scowls angrily}

ultra_gohan: "Sorry TK." {gives her the puppy dog look}

Pan: "Oh no…" {sighs and looks away}

TK: "Ack! No! Not the puppy dog look!" {covers her eyes}

Trunks: {whispers to Pan} "What's going on? Why is TK and Gohan doing that?"

ultra_gohan: {wobbles his bottom lip and makes his eyes big}

TK: "No! Stop it! You know I-… Why do I bother…" 

Pan: "Just forgive him before he crawls into your lap and whimpers like a dog." 

Trunks: "I take it TK doesn't like the puppy dog look?"

Pan: "No. In fact, it's the only way to get her to do something she refuses to do."

ultra_gohan: {continues to stare}

TK: "Alright already! Enough! I can't take that look! I forgive you!"

ultra_gohan: {stops the look} "Thank you. That look gets you every time TK. I'll have to use more often." {smiles seductively}

TK: {stares and blushes}

Pan: "Ok, enough you two! Break it up, break it up!" {slaps Gohan}

Trunks: "Nice move Pan."

TK: "Thanks, he needed that." {Smirks at Gohan}

ultra_gohan: {growls angrily and holds his throbbing cheek}

Pan: "My pleasure. Anything to get you two love birds to stop flirting." {hops on to Trunks lap and kisses him}

TK/ultra_gohan: {sweat drop}

TK: "Do I have to break you two up! No kissing on this set!" {Gohan grabs her and kisses her}

Pan/TK: {pushes away and glares daggers} 

Pan: "TK I think our b/fs need some punishment. Do you agree?" {smirks evilly}

TK: "I agree. I think some one needs to learn the meaning of NO!"

Trunks/ultra_gohan: {gulps} "Heh…heh…heh…" {both back up nervously}

{TK and Pan grab Gohan and Trunks. Censor screen comes on}

Censor: "…………."

TK: {walks back on with Pan} "Well that will teach those two to refuse us huh Pan?"

Pan: "Yeah. Well I think we should muzzle them and chain them up cause they are too excited before the show."

Vegeta: {from off set} "And you two onnas were complaining Kakarott was energetic!" 

TK/Pan: {Glares daggers}

Goku: {munching on popcorn beside TK} "I'd prefer the muzzles my self." {continues to munch on popcorn}

TK: "Ack! Where you'd come from?!" 

Pan: "That's what I'd like to know?"

Goku: "Well I came from an egg inside my mom."

TK/Pan: {sweat drops}

Goku: "Anyway! Ohhh…You two don't look so good. {points to Gohan and Trunks lying on the floor looking in pain}

Trunks/ultra_gohan: {groans in pain}

TK: "Serves you right!"

Pan: "Next time I'll let you two play with TK at her favorite game!"

ultra_gohan: {screams bloody murder} "Ack no! Please! Anything but that!"

Trunks: "I don't like the sound of this game. Sounds like TK likes a bad game."

Pan: "She does."

TK: "And still do. Its called Torture. I take what you most want or like and tease you with it. For poor Gohan there, that's ignoring him til he cries like a baby. For Trunks, I'm going to cut off his balls!"

Pan: "Don't you think that's a little mean?"

Trunks: "Mean! That's not mean! It's sadistic! It will be painful!"

TK: "You'll live."

Goku: "Boy am I glad I'm not in your place." 

TK: "Don't start Goku. ChiChi has threatened worse."

Group: "And what may that be?"

TK: "Never be able to go to the bathroom or make babies again."

Group: "That's harsh."

Goku: {sniffles} "Nobody loves me."

TK: "Liar."

Pan: "Everyone knows TK loves you Goku. Even a blind man could see that."

ultra_gohan: "or one lying on the floor in pain."

Goku: {eyes glaze over with unshed tears} "Not true. TK and ChiChi are being mean to me."

TK: "If I hug you will you believe me?"

Goku: {nods his head} "Yes."

TK: {sighs} "Ok then. Come here." {holds her arms out}

Goku: "Yay! TK hug! I'm so loved!" {hugs TK and bear squeezes her}

TK: {turning blue} "Pan…help here…please!" 

Pan: "Right. Goku off before I get out the needle."

Goku: "Yipe! Ok! OK! I'm off! I'm off!"

TK: {takes a deep breath} "Thanks."

Pan: "No prob. Now let's start the story before Goku puts you into a coma."

TK: "I agree. Hope you enjoy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Idiots! How could you lose Kakarott ten minutes after I go to the shower room?! We'll not only be killed by Onna, but the onnas onna hangs out with! Go find him now or I swear you won't be walking for a week! " Vegeta said angrily.

"That was a tongue twister eh Vegeta?" Pan smirked evilly. Vegeta growled. Trunks snickered.

"Both of you go find him before he does something stupid!" Vegeta snapped. 

"Like getting hit by a car again?" Trunks said.

"Yes!" Vegeta spat!

"Or eating that fancy restaurant out of business?" Pan said.

"Yes!"

"Or beating up bad guys when Gohan shows up?" Trunks said.

"YES FOR THE LAST TIME!" Vegeta shouted. "Just go find him before he makes a nuisance out of himself!" Vegeta growled.

"Too late…" Pan said watching the TV. Trunks and Vegeta turned to face Pan as she turned up the volume.

"What do you mean too late?!" Trunks asked. Pan pointed to the news reporter on TV.

"Live on channel nine, a little boy is currently being held hostage by a drunk driver. It's said the driver had too much alcohol and is threatening to inject the poor boy with crack if anyone comes close to them. How can anyone help this poor boy?" The news crew showed Goku being pinned to the wall by the drunk man with a gun and needle with a blue faced Goku.

"Great! Just what we need! Goku gets himself on TV. Mom for sure will see this." Trunks said. Vegeta and Pan sighed.

"It amazes me that Kakarott once again gets into a situation he can't get out of. Stupid baka. He's pinned to the wall by his worst fear." Vegeta said rubbing his head.

"I didn't know grandpa didn't like needles." Pan said as she looked at her tiny grandpa again.

"You've never seen him in a doctors office." Trunks said.

"Or in Bulma's." Vegeta spat. "Well don't just sit there! Go save him before he faints! If onna or Bulma sees this we're all dead!" Vegeta screamed. Both teens nodded and raced out the door. "I need an aspirin…"

Pan and Trunks arrived on the scene as fast as they could. Police had the area closed off so that no one would get hurt in the crossfire.

"You'd think they'd learn?" Pan stated. Trunks nodded as they jumped the police line and raced inside.

"Who are you?!" The drunk man said. Pan and trunks looked at the man who still had a blue faced Goku against a wall with a needle.

"Trunks! Pan! Help me! He's got a needle!" Goku cried out. Trunks shook his head while pan fumed in anger.

"Well you wouldn't be in this situation if you had stayed in bed where we put you grandpa!" Pan snapped. Goku sweat dropped.

"Goku do you know how much trouble we could get in if your wife or our moms find out you got loose in the city and ran a muck?! Look at you! You're held against the wall by a needle wielding drunk man!" Trunks snapped.

"It wasn't my fault! I didn't know he would do this?!" Goku whined out. Trunks sighed.

"What did you think he was going to do?! Take you in and play games?" Pan snapped angrily. 

"Actually he said he'd give me candy then we'd play games." Both demi saiyans fell over.

"Excuse me!" The drunk man said. Pan and Trunks glared at him.

"Not now! Can't you see we're busy!" Pan spat. The drunk aimed the gun at her.

"Now listen here little girl! This is my hostage and this is my kidnapping! Go find some other person to harass." The drunk man said.

The police outside noticed the distraction and raced inside. When they got there, all they saw was Trunks and Pan in a fight while Goku and the drunk man were playing Go Fish.

"Freeze! Put you hands up in the air." The chief said. Goku and the drunk man looked up from the game.

"About time you guys got in here. These two have been fighting for the last hour now so the boy and I forgave one another and started a game." The drunk man said. "We've also been trapped in here since then."

"Got any sixes?" Goku asked.

"Go fish." The man said. Goku drew a card into his hand.

"What's going on here?! Where's the hostage?! What happened to the kidnapping and ransom?" The chief asked.

"Well we stopped playing that game along time ago. You might want to break them up though. Their fight could get nasty. Plus you might want to call in some help. You locked us all in again." Goku said absentmindedly. The police looked dumb struck as they saw the criminal and hostage play a card game while the kids who managed to sneak in here were too busy in their own fight to be paying attention. The police tried to open the door but it was locked shut.

"Great! We have a faulty hostage situation then we get trapped in with the characters! Just great." The chief grumbled. He then looked over at the two teens fighting.

"Trunks I swear I'm not taking the blame for this?! It's your fault he got out in the first place!" 

"Yeah right Pan! Maybe you should have secured Goku then we wouldn't be in this problem." Trunks snapped. The police stared blankly wondering what they should do to break up the fight.

"Um…excuse me you two, but if we could-" the chief began.

"Shut up!" Both teens snapped as they continued their fight without a word more. Both continued fighting. 

"I told you!" Goku called out there. The chief growled.

"Deal me in…" The chief sighed. 

"Alright, the name of the game is go fish! And don't you even think of cheating." Goku said happily as he dealt out the cards.

(two hours later)

"Got any threes?" the chief asked. 

"Go fish." The drunk man said.

It had been over five hours since the hostage situation took place, and two hours since the card game had begun. Two hours ago the door that would have lead them to home got locked with everyone trapped inside. The police outside desperately try to free the trapped people. Goku and the rest of the people there were getting extremely bored.

"I'm tired of go fish! Let's play something else." Goku whinnied. The group glared at Goku.

"We would if we could." Said the drunk man, but gambling is against the chiefs code over there so we can't play any other game." The drunk man said. Goku growled in annoyance. 

"ARGH! Why can't we just blast a hole through the roof and escape that way?!" Pan screamed out. The two teens had worked out a compromise and stopped fighting an hour ago. Now they too were bored beyond belief.

"If you want to pay for the damage be my guest." Trunks said. He was leaning up against a brick wall and was half way asleep.

"You know if Vegeta gets mad he won't care about damage. He'll just come busting through the wall with a look of anger that would frighten anyone." Goku said looking at his hand. Pan rolled her eyes.

"My dad may be aggressive Goku, but he's not dumb. He'll find a cool and collective way of getting us out." Trunks stated. Goku shook his head in disbelief. Just than a huge explosion was sounded out side.

"That would be Vegeta now…" Goku said. You might want to move, this could be bad." Goku said. As Goku predicted, the walled exploded into pieces and a supped up mad saiyan prince was the one standing in the gap.

"KAKAROTT! GET OUT HERE NOW!" They heard Vegeta scream. Goku yawned and stretched. 

"It's about time…I thought he got lost or something." Goku said leading the group out of the building.

"You knew he was coming?" Trunks asked in astonishment. Goku nodded and yawned again as if it wasn't a big deal.

"How grandpa? Vegeta sent us to get you…" Pan stopped in mid-sentence. "How long have we been in there?" Pan asked.

"We were in there five hours. You two were in there for two." Goku said. "I'm guessing Vegeta found out we were trapped in here and weren't planning on escaping so he blew a fuse like he always does and came here and blasted the wall apart." Goku said. As the left, the saw out on the street a super saiyan Vegeta who had his arms crossed and looked very pissed.

"What happened?!" Vegeta screamed. "I send you two to get Kakarott and you get trapped with the baka in the same building! Can't you two do anything right?!" Vegeta snapped. Both Pan and trunks had their head bowed in shame.

"It wasn't our fault dad…" Trunks mumbled.

"Yeah. Grandpa's the one-" Pan begun.

"Enough! You two are responsible enough to watch a brat like Kakarott and what do you two do?!" Vegeta spat.

"We loose him after we lock him into his crib." Both say.

"Precisely. Now what have we learned?" Vegeta growled.

"Never leave Goku on his own?" Trunks said.

"And?" Vegeta asked.

"Make sure Grandpa's securely locked into his crib before leaving." Pan said miserably.

"And?" Vegeta growled.

"Never allow Vegeta to have a Swiss Amy knife with deluxe break out features." Goku chirped happily.

"What?" Trunks snapped.

"You stole Vegeta's pocket knife?" Pan asked. Goku nodded proudly and pulled it out of his pocket. Vegeta became enraged.

"You bakayaro! That's how you escaped! Why I oughta-" Vegeta was cut off.

"You won't be doing anything Vegeta but giving us a good explanation." A voice from behind said. The group turned around to see the girls. Each one wearing a look of disdain and hatred.

"B-B-B-Bulma…nice to see you…" Vegeta choked out. She gave him the worst death glare in the world.

"We leave you in charge and this is what happens?! Goku is kidnapped and held hostage! Then all of them are locked into this building! I thought we could trust you Vegeta." Bulma snapped.

"It wasn't my fault!" Vegeta shouted out.

"Then who's was it? It wasn't Goku's!" Chichi spat out angrily. 

"Yes it was!" All three yelled at once. Goku looked around innocently.

"Grandpa escaped from his crib!" Pan snapped.

"Then he snuck off and got himself kidnapped while in the city!" Trunks added angrily.

"Then the baka got all of them locked in the building by setting of the lock down alarm and I had to come down and blast them out!" Vegeta said. The girls glared.

"That has got to be the lamest excuse I've heard out of you." Videl said angrily. "We had to call Gohan to check if they could find you. He told us to check the TV and what do we see…"

"Us!" Goku chirped. "Yeah you saw us, cause it was my fault in the beginning cause Veggie wouldn't feed me dinner. Then I began crying cause he insulted me and then he made me fall asleep and I stole his pocket knife when he wasn't looking. Then when Pan and Trunks tucked me in, I got the knife out and picked the lock and escaped to freedom!" Goku said. ChiChi glared angrily at Goku.

"So it was your fault! Goku you are in so much trouble!" ChiChi snapped as she grabbed him by the ear.

"Ow…ow…OWW! Come on ChiChi that hurts!" Goku whinnied as Chichi pulled Goku into the air cart. Trunks, Pan and Vegeta tried to sneak away.

"Oh no you don't! You two are in so much trouble." Bulma said grabbing both their ears and dragging them both.

"Pan, I should punish you, but seeing as you didn't do anything wrong…" Videl said glaring at the other saiyans. "Then you get off with a reprieve." Pan sighed thankfully. 

"As for you three, you can expect your punishment to begin when we all get back home." ChiChi snapped.

"Ohhhhhhh…" Three saiyans moaned out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TK: "Well that concludes Baby Sitting Goku. Whew, and I thought I'd never get through that story!" {gets applauded} 

ultra_gohan: "Ok that's enough! Go applaud some other girl." 

Pan: "Gohan chill! You act as if TK is a fragile gem."

Goku: "To the untrained eye she is."

ultra_gohan: "I don't need your help Goku. You're the last person I want helping me out in girl friend issues."

Vegeta: "You could use help on all your issues boy." 

ultra_gohan: "What's that supposed to mean?!" 

Pan: "Exactly what it means." 

Vegeta: "If you hadn't been blaming the other guys in the audience for fawning over your onna then you would have noticed the Bakarott has already taken you're mate and left for a movie."

ultra_gohan: {looks around} "What?!"

Trunks: "Man that was weird." {comes on to the stage}

Pan: "What was?"

Trunks: "TK was being escorted into a limo with Goku."

ultra_gohan: {Blows a fuse} "You can't be serious?!"

Trunks: "I'm quite serious. They just left. She had a huge bouquet of white and red roses. She was definitely being shown off."

{ultra_gohan stomps off angrily}

Pan: "Well we can officially say Goku won't be coming in tomorrow."

Vegeta: "Bakarott with a have a needle shoved so far up his-"

Trunks: {stops Vegeta} "Dad! Watch what you say!"

Vegeta: {Grumbles angrily}

Pan: "Well since we don't have anything to talk about much, and the chapter is over and TK isn't here to tell us what happens in the next story-"

Vegeta: "She wrote down what happened to us in this story though."

Trunks: "Wow, What did she say happened to us?"

Vegeta: "You were grounded with severe training. I had to stay out of my G.R. for two months, and Kakarott got the worst spanking imaginable." {Pan and Trunks snickered}

Pan: "Well at least he got the worst."

Trunks: "I bet Goku couldn't walk for a week!"

Vegeta: "Three weeks actually." {Both look at him} "Says so on the paper."

Trunks/Pan: "Oh…"

Vegeta: "Well now that's over, lets end this so I can leave."

Pan: "Alright Veggie. Thanks for coming yall, TK will have out her next story soon I hope. I heard it was about Vegeta.

Vegeta: "What about me?!"

Trunks: "C-ya!"


End file.
